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May 2005 Archives

May 5, 2005

A Lightsaber Is Not A Toy

The new Star Wars movie is gonna suck. I don't want it to, but it will. I had high hopes for Episode 1. Jar "suck me" Jar "hard" Binks and the crappy Lucas Message™ made it practically unwatchable. Not even Darth Maul could save it. Episode 2? The movie was pretty unremarkable. Clones and kick-ass Yoda is about all they had... unless you count wooden acting and a shitty plot.

Still, I'm a moron and you know I'll drop my hard earned petrol-dollars to see the effects in Episode 3.

Side note: there better be a "hand me my lightsaber" comment in from Mr. Jackson or I'm gonna bust up the theater in a rage of digust.

What is my point? After the crappy movie, I'm betting lots of 'sabers are going to be on the market. They have lots of home uses that I wasn't aware of! How could you not want one? So, you eBay freaks (and you know who you are), keep your eyes open for a good deal. I'm paying top Quatloos, but not for any of that fake >< me Korean crap !

God Wants Us To Be Happy

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Then He putzed around for a few days working on some other shit, animals and what not. Then there was the apple incident, we got kicked out of the garden and man got busy! (See, Gensis 5:1. Fo shizzle.)

Some serious time passed.

Then, He decided to show us that He still loved us, and beer was discovered. And, hell yea, it was Good.

More time passed.

Some dude got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change (props to D. Adams, sorry they fucked up the movie). Was that a good move? Maybe not so much. After all, has anything ever been the cause of more human suffering than organized religion? I think not.

More time passed.

We've had some plagues and natural disasters. Some bullshit "my prophet is better than your prophet" tit-for-tat pissing contests. Pretty much everyone had written the Big Guy off. Then, while watching Food TV, the Lord once again showed all of mankind that he does indeed still love us.

His avatar for this millennium: Microwave Pork Rinds.

My brothers and sisters, REJOICE! Put down your frog-fortified adult beverage and join me thanking the Lord! While I admit, I doubted His plans, I now know I was the foolish one. Never again shall I ask if the Son of our Lord would care for the plain or peanut M&M's. I shall take the existance of the Microwaved Pork Rind to be like the rainbow: a sign that even though bad times have befallen us, better days are ahead.

Amen!

May 16, 2005

Store Wars

As noted earlier, the new Star Wars is mostly likely going to suck. Bad acting, weak-ass plot, and probably Jar Jar.

I offer this film in its place. I believe the story to be more believable and the acting slightly better.

I mock, you decide.

May 17, 2005

The Darth Side

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster.

May 19, 2005

Advantage: Trump

Ahhhh, The Donald. Bad hair, questionable acting resumé, casino owner, and I only hope the money is why he's able to bed super models as often as he does. Still, when the man is right, you've got to hand out tha props:

The Freedom Tower design was chosen in February 2003 after some of the world's best-known architects submitted proposals. Its height is symbolic of the year of American independence, and its 276-foot spire is meant to echo the arm of the Statue of Liberty.

The torqued glass-and-steel design includes a steel cable netting, more than 60 floors for offices, an indoor observation deck, a restaurant and wind-harvesting turbines to supply some of the building's power.

Trump made it clear he doesn't like it.

"It's a building that's essentially a skeleton," he said.

Trump said the plan "looks like a junkyard."

"You take a look at a the roofs of those buildings, they're all at different angles, different shapes," he said. "It is the worst pile of crap architecture I have ever seen in my life."

Trump's alternative would be replicas of the original 110-story towers, only a bit taller. The design and model by architect Ken Gardner, embraced by Trump, offered buildings that would be 1,474 feet -- more than a hundred feet taller than the original towers, once the world's tallest buildings.

"What we need is support to build a bigger and better version of two buildings and more that were taken down by people that were animals," Trump said. "If something happened to the Statue of Liberty, you wouldn't rebuild it as something other than the Statue of Liberty."

via CNN.com, emphasis mine.

Even the name sucks ass: "Freedom Tower"? What kind of bullshit name is that? Find a real fuck'in name... and don't even get me start on changing the the name of the Newark airport to "Newark-Liberty Airport". What a load of crap.

In getting that POS "Freedom Tower" plan scrapped and something less shitty put up, all I can say is rock on Mr. Trump. Rock on.

May 24, 2005

Portlets and JSR 168

Time to get busy learning about portlets! Work has decided to implement portal technology and I think I'm gonna get strapped working with these things. Dirk has kindly pointed me in the right direction, so I guess I better get started.

Ahh, the joys of dusting off old skills for new projects. What could be better?

Passive Electrocution Feature?

The Long Island Railroad (LIRR) Bathroom Warning makes you go, "hummmm...".

(ht: boing boing)

About May 2005

This page contains all entries posted to Ayerd{dot}com in May 2005. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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