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We will soon hit that magical time of the year when the x-mas lights are pulled from the closet, untangled, plugged in, and wrapped around a dead evergreen so we can worship at the alter of mass consumerism. Oh yea, and celebrate the birth of a guy who was nailed to a tree for asking everyone to be nice to each other. (ht: D. Adams).

Right now, it is the untangling of the lights that concerns me most. Each year I carefully wrap the lights around a plastic tube thingy in hope that next year they will unravel without any problem. After, let's see... carry the one... 20+ years of this, it doesn't fucking work. Ever.

Each year I say to myself, this year I'll just toss the old lights and buy new ones! BRILLIANT! No need to unravel, just plug in and go. Each year I seem to overlook that option. Maybe this year I'll be able to make the right moves and it will go well.

With these hopes and dreams in mind, I offer up this link to a video of the 2005 Yo-Yo Champion: Takayasu Tanaka. Clearly, the dude has a handle on keeping shit from getting all tangled up, but deep down I secretly hope he has problems untangling x-mas lights.

I love The Yahoo Buzz page. It is just a listing of stuff that other people have searched for, but it is always pretty interesting. Maybe not as much as some other things I could be looking at, but pretty cool.

Today's Buzz mentioned the very unfunny Woody Allen, and the only thing that popped into my head was a line from, I think, the Family Guy where the Woody Allen 'toon does something stupid and says, "wow, this is more awkward than the time Soon-Yi's retainer fell out of my pants."

Now, that is funny.

God damn it, I suck at Engrish. And not in that fun spanky sort of way. Hear-Here. It's-Its. You're-Your. Doesn't matter which construct, chances are better than average I'll fuck it up.

Don't even get me started with grammar. Those shitty School House Rock songs were catchy, but they just didn't stick with me.

/me hangs head in shame

QUIT. It's that simple. There are plenty of more complex ways to lose a war, but none as reliable as just giving up.

Increasingly, quitting looks like the new American Way of War. No matter how great your team, you can't win the game if you walk off the field at half-time. That's precisely what the Democratic Party wants America to do in Iraq. Forget the fact that we've made remarkable progress under daunting conditions: The Dems are looking to throw the game just to embarrass the Bush administration.

[snip /]

The irresponsibility of the Democrats on Capitol Hill is breathtaking. (How can an honorable man such as Joe Lieberman stay in that party?) Not one of the critics of our efforts in Iraq — not one — has described his or her vision for Iraq and the Middle East in the wake of a troop withdrawal. Not one has offered any analysis of what the terrorists would gain and what they might do. Not one has shown respect for our war dead by arguing that we must put aside our partisan differences and win.

There's plenty I don't like about the Bush administration. Its domestic policies disgust me, and the Bushies got plenty wrong in Iraq. But at least they'll fight. The Dems are ready to betray our troops, our allies and our country's future security for a few House seats.

Surrender is never a winning strategy.

Okay, so that pretty much sums it up. Sadly, I think the Islamofacists know they only need to hold out until the next presidential election. Chances are pretty good that Bush and the GOP will fuck up so badly over the next few years the Democrats will take over and just walk away. I'm willing to bet they'll skip the "cut" from "cut and run", just to embarrass our country.

Heh

Ahhhhhh, 1999. A happier time. A time when all things seemed possible... okay, maybe not all things, but some shit seemed pretty reasonable. Around this time it was announced that Samuel Jackson would have role in what turned out to be a suck fest of biblical proportions: Star Wars Episode 1. With good Pulp Fiction vibes still in the air, hopes were high for some kick ass Jedi moves.

Alas, it was not to be and Jackson's character went down punk trying to saber Emperor Miers Palpatine. In his defense, Jackson had him on the ropes until that bitch-ass Skywalker jumped in.

Where was I? Right: Pulp Fiction-Jedi-1999. Back in '99 I got this list of 10 Things we want Samuel Jackson, "Jedi Master Mace Windu", say in the Star Wars movie:

10. You don't need to see my Goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't the motherfuck'in droids you're lookin' for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfuckin' stormtrooper in the room... accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain't home, than I don't know what the fuck we're going to do. I ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. "What" ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on "What"?
4. You send'in the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that is all you had to say!
3. I wouldn't go so as to say the motherfucker's a carpet. Yeah, Chewie got a hair problem. What's a brother gonna do? He's a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?

And the number on thing we want to hear Samuel L. Jackson say in Star Wars:

1. Hand me my lightsaber.... It's the one that says "Bad Motherfucker" on it.

This entry from /. seems to sum up the whole Superman movie:

ThePuceGuardian writes "With Superman Returning from development hell next summer, perhaps Slashdot's readership would appreciate this summary of the 10+ years spent in development, and the sequel that never quite was. Years of stupidity and outright seething contempt for the fans who were expected to shell out for the franchise are detailed, from the Kevin Smith era, through Tim Burton and including 'McG's short but not short enough association with the project. The summary ends in mid-2004, which is about a decade after the whole sordid affair should have been capped off, and right before the current production started up.I just have to include this quote: "Michael Bay was offered to direct the film again, but he felt the script violated the essence of Superman and refused the offer." When Michael Bay declines your project for reasons of artistic integrity, I think it's time to consider a new line of work.."

Michael Bay (Score:5, Informative)
by Life700MB (930032) on Monday November 28, @08:50AM (#14128227)

When Michael Bay declines your project for reasons of artistic integrity

What's the problem with Michael Bay? Let me see [imdb.com].

# Armageddon (1998)
# Pearl Harbor (2001)
# Bad Boys II (2003)
# The Island (2005)

Oh, now I understand...

My people, did you know that Firefox 1.5 was released today? Hell yea, it was. Did you know that you should upgrade as soon as possible? I thought so. 1.5 lets you reorder the browser tabs, very sweet indeeded.

But, that isn't why you should upgrade.

Pimpzilla is why you should upgrade! Fuck'in do it now. Don't make me come over there and slap you.